Dear you..
Hi, it's me. I'm writing to you right now because you've been on my mind. A lot. And I can't get you out of my head! It's driving me insane so I figured I'd put it out here and then maybe the universe takes care of the rest...right? I feel bad for ending our relationship like we did. I know we both had issues with each other's actions and behaviors, but we were both in a really weird place due to some messed up decisions each of us had made at the time. I guess it wasn't in the universe's cards for us to stay friends. I forgave myself...I eventually forgave you as well, I wonder if you have done the same?
I don't know where you are in life anymore. Are you married, are you happy? Do you have babies? How's the pet(s)? I feel like I just want to peer out and see you happy and that you're ok. I just want to check in on you, but I don't know if I want to go down that rocky road again and find out its just painful. I finally have gotten over my fear of running into you in public. Every time I see a like model car of yours I think of you and how I wish I could just pull up next to you with a wave and give you a big smile. But...then I think of the hurtful things you have said about me and to me...and the way that things ended. And it makes me wonder if all I'd get is spite and hate in return...and then my thoughts fade to black.
Maybe some day we'll be friends again? Probably not ... I suppose its probably not in the cards. But...In a future life? I know you served a huge purpose in my life and that was to connect me to my very unlikely soul mate. I often wonder if I did the same for you in an odd way, forced to guide you back to someone, or to meet a new someone ... but I don't know. You were a good friend to me many times throughout my life, and I hope there were times I did good for you too. Maybe I didn't have a place for you to stay or have the greatest friends around me all the time, but I always had open arms, an open heart and an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on...and the occasional smokey for ya. I hope that at some point in your life that was "good enough". I always strived to be "good enough" even if it didn't seem that way.
I'm sure I'll write you more letters some day. I hope you'll read them, and know that I do care even though I'm far away and far removed. Keep it together, keep swimming...life is good you just have to appreciate the "good" in it, its like just filtering the bad for a garbage file. That's what I've learned to do. Granted, I'll never have a sunny-side-up disposition, and my glass is never full or empty, its just there...that's not me. But I have learned to look for good things, to make life a pleasant experience. And your friendship at some point was definitely a pleasant experience. So Thank you again, as always, and forever.
Love, and Peace, to your middle crease~
"BluButtafly"
