Letter Three.

Dear you,

Amazingly enough we're on speaking terms.  You're sober.  I'm proud of you more than words can ever say.   You have changed who you are and become a truly great sibling.   Not for me, but for you. I'm so proud of you, but you hurt me.  And I have to say what I have to say.
I spent months on end looking after you.  Thousands of dollars of fixing your problems.  Hours upon Hours on the phone pleading with you, mom and dad to stop the cycle and end the madness.  No one would ever listen to me, but why would they?
Here we are looking at a year and half sober.  You're healthy, you're doing so great.  And I'm so proud.
Please don't go back into the dark, ever ever again.  I can't take it. I missed you so much and I'm so glad you're back here with us in the present, knowing yourself again.  Because we like you.

Love
Sis

Letter Two.

Dear you,
It's me.   I know how much you screwed me over - and I know how much of what you told me was a lie.   I believed every word that flowed from your mouth, and I would cling to your words like they were glue.  I feared to be myself because of you.  You treated me as if I was disposable, and you ignored my constant pleas for love and affection.  But now you've moved on and hopefully you're better to her.  I hope to God you are, for her sake.

Thanks for being such a huge prick, and pushing me away.  You made me find myself again.  You made me leave and I'm so glad.  It took a while to find me again, and it made me lose friends and lose sight of my goals for a while, but it was necessary.

Thanks for making me realize what I didn't want in a man.  Your constant put downs, and jabs for no good reason made me realize that love shouldn't hurt.   And love shouldn't be forced.  I found someone who loves me for me, all 110% of my imperfect me.  He loves my crooked smile, and my goofy laugh. He loves how I freak out, it makes his eyes dance with a light I've never seen anywhere before.   He knows not to talk when I've had a bad day, he holds me and listens.  He gave me children, which you vowed you'd never do, and they are the light of my life now.

Thanks again for making my life a living hell, because now I have what I've always wanted.  A loving family who loves me for me, and lets me be me.

Good luck in your life, hope you're not the same miserable soul you once were.

"p00hbear"

Letter One.

Dear you..
Hi, it's me.  I'm writing to you right now because you've been on my mind. A lot.  And I can't get you out of my head! It's driving me insane so I figured I'd put it out here and then maybe the universe takes care of the rest...right?   I feel bad for ending our relationship like we did.   I know we both had issues with each other's actions and behaviors, but we were both in a really weird place due to some messed up decisions each of us had made at the time.  I guess it wasn't in the universe's cards for us to stay friends.  I forgave myself...I eventually forgave you as well, I wonder if you have done the same?

I don't know where you are in life anymore.  Are you married, are you happy?  Do you have babies?  How's the pet(s)?   I feel like I just want to peer out and see you happy and that you're ok.  I just want to check in on you, but I don't know if I want to go down that rocky road again and find out its just painful.  I finally have gotten over my fear of running into you in public.  Every time I see a like model car of yours I think of you and how I wish I could just pull up next to you with a wave and give you a big smile.  But...then I think of the hurtful things you have said about me and to me...and the way that things ended.  And it makes me wonder if all I'd get is spite and hate in return...and then my thoughts fade to black.

Maybe some day we'll be friends again? Probably not ... I suppose its probably not in the cards. But...In a future life? I know you served a huge purpose in my life and that was to connect me to my very unlikely soul mate.  I often wonder if I did the same for you in an odd way, forced to guide you back to someone, or to meet a new someone ... but I don't know.  You were a good friend to me many times throughout my life, and I hope there were times I did good for you too.  Maybe I didn't have a place for you to stay or have the greatest friends around me all the time, but I always had open arms, an open heart and an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on...and the occasional smokey for ya.  I hope that at some point in your life that was "good enough".   I always strived to be "good enough" even if it didn't seem that way.

I'm sure I'll write you more letters some day.  I hope you'll read them, and know that I do care even though I'm far away and far removed.  Keep it together, keep swimming...life is good you just have to appreciate the "good" in it, its like just filtering the bad for a garbage file. That's what I've learned to do.  Granted, I'll never have a sunny-side-up disposition, and my glass is never full or empty, its just there...that's not me.  But I have learned to look for good things, to make life a pleasant experience.  And your friendship at some point was definitely a pleasant experience.  So Thank you again, as always, and forever.

Love, and Peace, to your middle crease~
"BluButtafly"